This Weekend

Oh my gosh... this weekend was crazy...Friday and Saturday was cool. We had this thing at church for the ladies there. It was kinda weird though, b/c it was like live television. and it's kinda weird when your used to the live stuff. oh, but sunday...it was crazier...I was going home to spend some time w/ my mom b/c it was her birthday. and i noticed my friend left her stuff in my car. so I was going to turn to return her stuff at church before she left there. and i got into an accident on the say to the church. i was so devistated. My car's front bumper is dented in now. (not like it wasn't already..b/c of my dad) and my left headlight is cracked and it occationally works. I'm sore but no major injuries that i know of. And what was worse my mom's birthday was Sunday (the day I got in the accident). Ever since the accident i've had random emotional breakdowns. it's been horrible. I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't go to school today b/c of it...and plus...i was sore b/c of the accident. well, that was my weekend. not that proud of it. Well, I don't really have much to say...I'll write later...
Lindsay

Selfish People

It amazes me at how selfish people can be. I'm not saying I'm not selfish, but I realize how selfish I am through other people's ways of living. Today, throughout all this disaster from hurricane Rita, people are yet to complain about not having cable, or even television, when there are others out there without any form of transportation, electricity, communication, or food. Even though right now, my mom is without a job, we have some damage to the fence, no air conditioning, no refrigeration or lights, I'm still thankful of what I do have. A comunity of friends, family, and neighbors who love me for who I am and what I'm about. Unfortunately, alot of times we focus on the material things we have when the abstract things are really what is important.

About Death...

I don't know why I'm lead to write this or about this. But, I write what comes to my head, so maybe it's the holy spirit trying to tell me something. All of us are guilty of living life expecting the future. This hurrican (Rita) has really made me think. We spend so much time dreaming of what's to come here on earth, but little time on what would happen if we were to die at that instant. Maybe we all fear death to a certain extent. But for some odd reason, at this point in time. Surpristingly enough, I am at peace. And even though I'm excited to graduate, excited about going to college, excited about getting married (if i do), about starting a family of my own, even excited about started my career. I'm still okay with leaving it all behingd and dying. Earth isn't enough for me; I want God. I'm ready to meet him and talk to him and see my home in heaven. Now, whoever reads this...Don't worry...I don't plan on killing myself or anything.

"Under God?"

We had a guest speaker in my Government class yesterday. And we talked about the main reason why the guy in California is trying to get "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegience. I don't know about anyone else but i couldn't be more against that. Yes, I am a Christian, but that has nothing to do with why i side w/ not taking it out. The Pledge of Allegiance is something that we have done throughout history. and yes, it's true that "under God" was added in the 1950's but that's still part of history, it is in the past. We need to respect that those who believe in God have the freedom to say that in the Pledge of Allegience. If you don't want to say that one phrase in the Allegience, you have the freedom not to. but for those of us who do so choose to say it, respect the fact that we want to do it. Atheists are trying to take God out of everything, but Christians have rights too. Realize that we would like to have the freedom to do things too. We want the freedom to not do things too. The goverment should take into consideration the minority's rights and the majority's rights. The government seems to only side one way or the other. We need to find a common ground.

Zoo Pictures

When I returned home, my family went to the zoo (Jaime's wish). Here are some pictures that we took.

NASA

When I was working in Florida this summer we took a weekend off to go to orlando. We went to the Kennedy Space Center. We were going to get to see the launch, but it was cancelled because of the gas sensor was malfunctioning. So we didn't get to see it unfortunately. That would have been really awesome! The trip was a great trip. I enjoyed it. I hope I can go again this summer. Maybe I can convince my aunt to take me to DisneyWorld! :D probly not though, it's pretty expensive

Working @ FL

These are pictures of the things I was around all day long while in Florida:

1st picture: This was a picture of the roses that I worked with. I didn't get many pictures. Sorry guys! Maybe next summer!

2nd picture (Church): This was the church I played the piano at. I couldn't go somewhere without playing the piano for a month, so we found a church near Aunt Kathy and Uncle David's house that would let me play. I only played on the weekdays. I left work at 2:20 and immediately went to the church to practice. I would practice an hour or more there. The people there were exeptionally nice. It reminded me of Central Baptist Church; the church my dad pastored at before he left.

3rd picture: these are more pictures of the roses. There was about 5 acres of just roses, I should've gotten closer & prettier pics of the roses, but i didn't. Again, maybe next year!

4th picture: This is a picture of Sassy. I've known her ever since she was welcomed into the Hollowell family. My Aunt Kathy used to live with us when I was young. She got her while she lived with us in Abilene, Texas. Her name is the best way to describe her. She used to get on Meggan's (my first dog) nerves and now Mystic gets on her nerves

5th picture: This is Mystic (black dog). She is very friendly and playful. If you ever meet her, be careful about petting her. If you pet her once there's no getting rid of her until you leave. But that's a puppy for you, right?!

Fear

Throughout my life, I've had a problem with dealing with my fears. Fear can be a very controlling thing. Especially when your biggest fear is being controlled by fear. Sunday I talked to a very good friend of mine. And we were talking about guys, which is a normal subject with us. I've liked this guy for a real long time. and She asked me why i haven't let him know. And I couldn't come up with an answer. My denial of my fears made it worse. But, some of the things she said really got to me. And made me really think about alot of things. A book I'm reading about dating helped me to better understand what I was going through because there was a chapter in there about fears keeping you away from being yourself, which leads others away from you. I'm in Florida at the moment, so I haven't been able to talk to my friends barely at all. So i decided I would give another close friend a call. I talked to her and that was my next step to getting rid of my many fears. Last night, i was reading that book again, and I read a list of things that I would have to do to resolve me of my fears. First, you have to list out all of your fears; next, you need to rank your fears. After that you need to talk to a close friend that you know will listen and possibly went through the same thing. Then, you need to ask God to take care of it, and surrender to Him. Because without him you would have 100x more fear in your life. and if you continue with your fear it will gnaw on you like a beaver on wood. Some of us think that there's no turning back and that it's too late, but it's not. Not with God. But, you have to have faith that He will, otherwise it's not genuine. And just like salvation. It has to be 100% truthful. Yes, you will have to face your fear. Yes, you will have trouble, God promises you will. Yes, you will fail through this. But, at least you have hope. You have hope through God. It takes time but your fears will be resolved.

Homesick

It’s only been two days, and I’m already missing home. I’m having a great time. Aunt Kathy and I seem to be getting along as usual. Everyday I learn more about my family and things I know will be useful in the future. Believe it or not, seeing as my parents aren’t together, I really don’t get to observe the reality in marriage. It’s always been my dream to be married (like most people) and have 2 kids, a boy and a girl (I plan to have one/adopt the other…I’ll be sure that I’ll have a boy and a girl) And in my mind when I was younger, I imagined this perfect life with my spouse forever and ever like they show in the movies. I guess it takes a couple of times to realize things because I knew this. But I never grasped the concept. You and your significant other are going to annoy each other. But in the long run it’s okay because in the beginning where all this started, you and him share a common ground. You and him stood in frond of a pastor, a brother in Christ, and you and him made a beautiful promise that keeps you two together; through the think and thin you made a promise to you husband that you would try your best to love him, with God’s help of course, because you cannot do this by yourself. You’re also married to that person for a certain reason. God has a purpose for everything. He and you will learn things about each other and that’s the awesome part about it, most of the time. Another thing that I’ve realized is, it is so amazing at how God works things together. A couple years back, I wouldn’t have even imagined myself right here at Aunt Kathy and Uncle David’s’ house working at a rose farm. And from what Aunt Kathy says she didn’t visualize herself were she is now at the moment either. Sometimes God gives you things as planned, but sometimes he throws you a curveball, such as, where I am right now. And that’s what makes life so interesting.

Single Pics

These were the seperate pics that we took the same day (look @ the previous post) I hated showing the bottom of my feet, but oh well.

My sister and Me!

These are pictures that my sister and I took for Daddy's day! Isn't she so cute!

More Camp Pics

Camp Pics

Here are some pictures of Church Camp this year...i went camera happy this year...so there are like 50 more...i'm gunna try to get them up sometime...just a little later. So here are some of them

Pageant Pics

These are pictures that we took for the pageant. We needed one to go into the program. I chose the one where i was looking behind me into the camera.

This picture was taken right after Christmas. I had just gotten my digital camera and was playing around w/ it. Ain't it awesome ;)

Beauty

I want to feel beautiful. I refuse to admit that is why I am going to be in the pageant because it's not. I don't want a panel of judges to tell me I'm beautiful, I just want one guy. One guy! One guy that thinks I'm normal, sure I can be kinda weird sometimes, but so can everyone else. So, what detracts them (guys) from me? What makes me not special enough to date? I have so many girls tell me that I'm pretty. I'm so pretty, why don't guys see that, why don't they want to date me? I'm tired of hearing that they are too afraid to ask me out on a date. I don't believe it anymore. I want the truth. Even if I can't handle it. I'm tired of all the depression, anger, lies and confusion.

I really don't know where to start to tell you the truth. I'm just really angry at some things right now. I'm angry at the way some people are. The way Satan has drawn them into so many horrible things. Angry at how not only guys but girls degrade the opposite sex down to a piece of meat. Angry at how they do that and sets a chain reaction for the other to act like a piece of meat and try their best to add their own "seasonings," the ones that will fade and sour over time. Angry at how God tells us we need help and have yet to realize Satan tricks us into believing we don't want help at the moment, so we don't take others' advice. And continue to live a life full of lies. Lies that corupt our brain into sinning. So many little things have set that warning light off in our heads. That beings me to the point of disguist of how horible us humans can be. How easily we are lied to and how desprate we are to even slightly believe it.