Disappointment

I got a letter in the mail today. I didn't get the scholarship I've worked towards for the past 2 years for. Which is a major disappointment because all that work, all those 2-3 hours a day working on two flippin' pieces went right down the tube. Not only did the letter tell me that I didn't get the schalorship, they also let me know that I won't even be considered for a music major. I guess I'm as good as I thought...not good at all. What was I thinking. I would pick up on my excellence after not taking lessons for 5 years? Obviously I'm not as quick of a learner as I used to be. I thought this is what God was calling me to do. Now I don't know what to do. Not only that, I found out that the guy I've liked for forever has a 'friend' that is coming to Lufkin with him for Christmas. Guess that ruins my chances of anything possibly happening. I was wrong. When I really wanted to tell him how I felt, I told myself he didn't need the destraction, but I was wrong. I have a feeling that it's all going downhill from here, which is a major disappointment.