A Clean Slate?

Well, I have gone through a week of college. It's been different; definately not what I wanted the week to end with, but it happens to me I guess. Monday-Wednesday went by great. Things went by fairly smoothly and I enjoyed my classes. Then Thursday came, unfortunately, . ...First off, my alarm didn't go off. That should have been the first sign that things weren't going to go well. I rushed to get ready and I headed off to go to my class which was English. I started up the stairs of the building and went up to the fourth floor where my class was. I walked into the doors and I thought that everything looked a little weird, like everything was a little misplaced, but I thought Well, I've only been in this building once so it may be just my mind playing tricks on me. So I went down the hallway and I remembered that my class was at the end of the hall. So I went down there and the door was closed, and I was like, okay, she has another class, I'll just wait in the hallway for a while. Then I was thinking, okay, it's 9:20 they should be out by now, so I started to head towards the stairwell and this lady walked out of one of the offices down the hall. And she asked if i needed help. I said, "No, I just have a class here I was just waiting for it to let out." And she responded, "No, you don't have a class in here you must be thinking of Scarborough." (which I was). So I ran to get to my REAL class, which I barely made it. Then she started class with "How did your interview go." I didn't now that we had to have our people interviewed because I hadn't had a chance to look at the syllabus for English. I had called my aunt to interview but she couldn't talk and so she was going to call me back. But she never did. And even if she did, there was no way i could write notes on what she was going to tell me because I wouldn't have gotten anything accomplished the way that my teacher wanted. But that's beside the point. That wasn't the only problem of the day...
I have piano class on Thursday as well. I had been working on this one piece over the summer. I assumed that my teacher would ask me to play something for him. So I chose the piece I was talking about. So I began playing it and it was fine until I got to this one place and I went totally blank. I mean blank to where I wanted to jump out of the window and run as far away from the piano as I possibly could blank. I knew that piece what happened? It still boggles my mind why this happened. ....That's not it. I had to play it again, with all of the piano performance majors in the room (Studio Piano Group). And I practiced an HOUR on that one piece that I had played probably 5 million times before. My mom probably has it memorized more than I do. And I went blank in front of everyone. I felt so humiliated.
This whole starting out on a clean slate thing. I guess it doesn't work for me. I've gotten so used to being discouraged and cast out because of my musical abilities that I've let that take place of my confidence. Studying music is harder than it looks. I can write out scales and key signitures and tell you how many half steps it is from F# to C but that doesn't change the way I play. That doesn't change my confidence. I came here to get that confidence that I really never had. Yes, I can sing and I can play the piano, but I will be the first to admit I have trouble doing both in pubic. In fact, it scares me to even think about it. But I feel like God has called me to do both. I don't know when, where, how or why, but he does. And I'm going to continue to try my best to make my Heavenly Father proud.
Pray for me anyone who reads this!