Break free of instability
Just breathe…
Stand on your own two feet.
I believe in you
You believe in me
But do you believe in yourself
That’s all that matters
Forget what everyone says
Forget how everyone thinks
Just breathe…

Only fools fall in love
Neither of us were willing to jump
You pushed me over the edge
And now I’m stuck in this pit
With no way out
You are a jerk
And I’m still smitten.

My Tribute to Passion Lost

Clouds
Clothed in rainbows of delicacy
The envious sky
Painted with hues of green
The love we share
Will be too beautiful
For the sun to shine on

Grass
Grazing our bouncing toes
Grows red with passion
The dirt separates from our feet
We are walking on air and free from sin
Anyone who follows in our footsteps
Will know how strong we are

Trunks of trees
Textured with tints of violet
Branching golden leaves
Staring at the cherubic sky
Our love is ever growing royalty

Desires
A hopeless obsession?
The ivy
Taking over
The beautiful house
We have built

Beginner's Luck, by Lindsay Hollowell

I’m sorry I have been so distant

Maybe I’m the one who’s missing it

It’s just that I’ve never done this before

This human tug-of-war

One side tells me that I’m in control

The other tells me just to let go

But it seems like you’ve already won

At this game that’s not much fun

No beginner’s luck

Frankly, I suck

I told myself this couldn’t happen

I’m sure the heavens are laughin’

We try to so hard to make it work

But it seems like all we do is jerk

The universe

One orbit at a time

Is it really worth it?

We haven’t crossed any lines yet,

But we sure have walked on some

We’re like drunkards

Trying to pass a test

Maybe it’s pointless.

I want a purple sky

I want the oceans tide

I want to hear the birds sing

I want all that God's crafted for me

But where do you fall in this masterpiece?

Just be patient with me

I can find time.

Will you?

I don’t want it to be this way

But that’s all I have to say.

You and me

Standing still

In the depths of our thoughts

Clueless.

Passion of a Life

You know? I used to feel all sorts of things. I used to feel love, compassion, hatred, fear, jealousy, pity, but all of that drifted away some time ago. I don’t know when or why; there’s probably a reason somewhere out there, but I haven’t figured it out yet. I think it was when I moved off to college, or shortly before that momentous time. A lot of things happen between graduation and moving off. A whole lot happens when you actually watch your parent(s) and sibling(s) coast off into the old world you left behind for education. You meet new people; you find friends…friends you wouldn’t expect to become friends with in high school. You have a new life completely. Things change. You grow. It’s expected, but you have no clue on how much until you look back at it all.

College is a busy world. It’s a world between adolescence and the real “real world”. Not quite as busy as it will get, but not as wasteful as high school. You have homework that the professors “fail to mention” (Note to self: Check your syllabus!), tests that are your only chance to pass the class, and resident assistants who check to see if your room is spotless on a weekly basis. Although, those aren’t entirely all that bad. That’s only the beginning. Living with your friends is the best and worst idea, especially in a freshman girls’ dormitory. It seems as if drama follows everyone. If you’re not the cause or the victim, have no doubt that you will be in the middle! And when you need to study the most, they want to go out for ice cream. It’s so hard to stand your ground when chocolate’s involved.

Despite all of that, you have to find out what you believe is truth. You make your decisions. You do what you want on a Friday night, or Sunday morning. You do what you want with all of your time. No one wakes you up in the morning anymore, unless you have a controlling roommate. You choose your friends, enemies, and boyfriends. Your friends can’t do it for you, although sometimes they are the incentive or hindrance to your decision. You choose whether or not you want the Wal-Mart brand or Pillsbury; Colgate or Crest; Suave or Frizz Ease. Your life is your life. You have 100% responsibility for you; no one else.

I think this scared me when I came to this “AHA” moment. I was scared of making a dumb mistake of myself. So I backed off. Quit trying, and pretended for a school year. I acted how I thought everyone wanted me to act throwing the real me in every once in a while of course, but mainly trying to show myself that it’s easy to take the easy way out. Living the life everyone wants me to live. Living the easy way was the hardest thing I have ever done though. I lost myself in fakeness. I stopped writing songs. I stopped being brutally honest…which I was fairly good at before moving to college. I stopped telling people what I thought. I didn’t want to be the cause of conflict. I fear conflict. So if I didn’t like something, I didn’t say a word. If I liked something, I didn’t say a word. Only when I felt like everyone felt the same way did I say something. That was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. I thought I had learned that my fears were to be stomped on, not nurtured. But I was wrong. I continued to keep to myself, like I have most of my life.

Authentic. Unstoppable. Determined. Successful. Reliable. These are the words that I want to describe me. I want a chance in changing the face of the earth. No matter how much it energy it takes of me. I have a story, and I want to share it. I’m tired of being the man woman behind the curtain. I want to join the crusade in living with all there is of my being. I want to return to who I abandoned about a year ago. A music-loving imaginative artist who loves Christ and follows his every command because he is her creator and provider…the lover of her soul.

Live and Learn! And have some fun along the way!

These past 3 days were definitely one experience after another. One of my friends has a family that she knew in the past that moved to Marshall. They had a funeral to go to and they had asked her to house-sit while they were gone. They also mentioned that a couple of her friends could stay as well. She had invited me and my roommate.
The first night (Wednesday) we just kind of enjoyed each other's company while watching movies and just getting away from the dorms (which is nice!)

The second night (Thursday) we had planned on making a wonderful home cooked meal. And somehow that responsibility was put on me...I just had to blurt out the fact that I knew how to make lasagna from scratch...but it was very interesting. I had never done it myself, but i had seen my mom do it a couple of times. So we went to Wal-Mart while my roommate, Sarah, had to go to work. We had timed it very perfectly because the lasagna was supposed to be in the oven for an hour and Sarah was supposed to come in around 8 PM and it was just amazing how the timing worked out. Anyway, we were preparing food like any normal people would. I was browning the meat while Sadie was doing some dishes. Then we alternated and I layered the lasagna and she made some queso to hold us over until the lasagna was ready. I was getting everything cleaned up and Sadie had asked if the lasagna was ready to go into the oven. And I had responded, quite certain that it was in deed ready to be put in the oven. We had popped in a movie and laid out some chips and dip to keep us occupied while our dinner was cooking in the kitchen. Sarah had called Sadie to get directions from her on how to get to the house. Almost immediately after that the timer for the lasagna went off. I went into the kitchen to check everything out. Little did I know that I had forgotten one major little detail before putting it into the oven, I happily opened the oven to realize that my lasagna, the one I had lovingly prepared, the one I paid for 1/3 for, the one that everyone had been waiting to eat, was burnt to a crisp!!!!....well, just the top layer....the mozzarella part. I called Sadie into the kitchen not knowledgeable of what to do. We figured the best way to solve the problem is to scrape that layer off and cover it up again with cheese. Sarah will never notice! She didn't of course until Sadie couldn't keep it in any longer. ........Moral of the story: DON'T forget to wrap FOIL over your lasagna pan before putting it into the oven!....otherwise, you will have some tears and heartache when you open the stove! AND don't try to cover up your mistakes...it's not worth it...just fess up you may look like a bigger dork trying to hide it than just going out and telling it like it is!

P.S. It ended up tasting a lot better than we had expected!

The third night, (Friday) we went down memory lane and watched part of the Spice World movie...we were planning on watching Clueless and something else...i can't remember. Oh, yeah, and our friend, Hannah ended up staying with us that night as well. Sarah was doing a Disciple Now this weekend so she wasn't going to be able be there.
Today (Saturday) we enjoyed some some pancakes, but didn't start looking for the syrup until after I had started cooking some. So Hannah and Sadie went to Kroger in their PJ's (might I add that we woke up around 11 and didn't get to eating breakfast until 12) then after we ate some pancakes Sadie wanted Deviled eggs so we went back to Kroger in our PJ's and bought some eggs. When we first walked in there was this guy that worked there and was really awkward...but anyways...we made deviled eggs and had a sandwich for lunch. (Pictured: Orange cat is Cowboy and Grey cat is Mittens)

Needless to say, we had an amazingly interesting weekend. Despite burning the lasagna and having awkward moments with this weird guy in our pajamas in Kroger, I had a marvelous weekend!!

This weekend!

Well, I'm going to try to blog a little more often, even though I have lots of reading to do that I don't really feel like reading about and an essay due on Friday that I haven't started on. And a speech due on Tuesday that I haven't really decided on what to talk about, but oh well, that's what college life is all about right? Putting things off until that last minute, it gets you ready for the future craziness!
Anyway, I went home this weekend. The ride there and back was more interesting that the actual weekend. Brittany Compton rode with me. She's such an interesting and wonderful person. (interesting in the awesome kind of way!) Not only is she a marvelous friend, but she's so smart!
We were just about to put all of my things in the car and Brittany spotted my birthday cake in my room (my birthday was last Sunday for everyone who wanted to know)...and so she cut us both a piece for on the way down to Lufkin. Then we decided that it would be the smartest thing to grab some Chic-Fil-A before going off to Lufkin. So we did. So we ate while I was driving and she was getting situated in my car. Shortly after she had finished her meal, she decided to eat her half of the piece of cake, and left the other half on the dashboard so I could eat it when I stopped in Lufkin or something. When we got into Mt. Enterprise and had to get onto 259, I had to make a turn. When I made that turn, the birthday cake decided to slide off of the dashboard. Brittany's refluxes, caught in the moment, threw her foot up onto the dashboard to catch it, but that birthday cake was too determined to get to the floor, her foot was just one more obsticle that it had to take. We had to stop at the nearest Exxon station to raid their bathroom and take their toilet paper because we couldn't find anything in my car. We got back into the car and cleaned everything up and headed back to Lufkin. We finally got into Lufkin and I dropped Brittany off at her house. I got interested in a game show called "1 vs. 100" which is similar to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" but you are against a group of 100 people called a mob. Sometimes people groups...like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders or a group of accountants or movie stars are in the group of 100, but it just depends on the episode i guess. Then Monk came on and I had to watch that too. After that show came on I returned home.
I got to sleep in on Saturday, which was very nice considering I didn't get to do much of it last weekend, because I was leading a Disciple Now. I joined my mom on the way to pick up Jaime from my dad's house. She got to go to the Build-A-Bear Workshop where she got a Husky dog and got to get a bunch of cute accessories for her new little inanimate friend.
Today, I woke up really late and didn't get to go to church, and was planning on going to Sunday School but got interested in homework of all things and lost track of time...weird I know! We got home safely...obviously, otherwise, I wouldn't be typing right now! lol...So, here I am...now...supposed to be doing my homework and reading for english and music theory 2...but i'm not...I'm telling you about this weekend! Horrible...i know! Ok...I'm going ..................now...I wish i had more interesting things to write about so I just couldn't wait to write to you about so I wouldn't have to do my homework, but right now...not much is going through my head except how much i didn't practice this week and how much i should have done this weekend, and didn't....grrr...why does this always happen to me!!!!

D-Now

This weekend I led my first Disciple Now. I knew before hand that it would be different leading one than actually being the student listening to what the leader had to say the whole weekend. But nonetheless it was great. I hadn't had much time to prepare before hand because I started school the week before the event. I had the 6th & 7th grade girls. Elizabeth and I co-led it. ......I'll elaborate later...i only got approx. 6 hrs. of sleep all weekend...i'm really tired...so i'm gunna rest for now....
....
seems like its been a lifetime since I've been where they are rightOk, I'm back. I really enjoyed leading the middle schoolers. It now, but they seemed so much smarter than I was. They listened most of the time, and had trouble staying on task some times. But, they were just so marvelous. I loved them. The first night we were there on of the kids got homesick and came into our room crying and asked if she could call her mom. We let her do so thinking that she would be able to calm her down a little. She ended getting sick to her stomach and had to go home anyway. I feel that Satan was trying to keep her away from something that would happen and her mother felt the same way so she came back the next morning for the sessions. The next night another girl wasn't feeling well, but she went to church anyway. My co-leader also got sick and went home to recover. But it was a wonderful experience and hope I can do it again either next year or soon!

How repulsive does it have to get
Until we do something about it
Does the God
With the signs and wonders
Have to spell it out for us

People are suffering
People are lost
People fight for their lives
What have we done?
Where did we go?
Who did we see?

Go ahead and wave it off
Like you did your best friend
Down the street.
What will you have to answer?
Will it be the two dollars you saved
Will it be the five bucks you earned
Or will it be the time you spent
Praying for others
Not expecting anything in return.

When will the selfishness end?
When will we wake
from these carcasses
we shuffle to point B?

That’s not the destination
We were meant to get to

New Year Resolutions

This time of the year seems to come faster and faster, but only comes once a year. It’s a time where it seems everyone and everything starts on a clean slate. Where the end has come and the new has begun. Where everyone reverently hopes that the new is much better than the old. But doesn’t seem to feel that way about the year before. Why must we get things wrong over and over again? You would think we would get it at least on the third try or something. But enough of my bashing…as it is customary to have a few goals for the year ahead, here are some of mine. (Bare in mind that I am sometimes a little too optimistic, but realistic at the same time, when it comes to these)

1. See everything, good or bad, as an opportunity that God has placed in my life for a reason
2. Completely (as in the words and accompaniment) write 5 songs
3. Learn to love
4. Learn to say no and yes (make better decisions)
5. Spiritually grow more than I could ever imagine
6. Stay focused
7. Enjoy life no matter what the occasion
8. Sing with joy
9. Save my money more often than I spend it!
10. Find a boyfriend (had to put a little humor in my list!)

Pursuit of Happyness...

Everyone comes into this world wanting more...more money, more talent, more stuff, more time...etc. I just got back from the movie "Pursuit of Happyness" ..Which is a very inspiring movie..but really long! anyway...I've been going through a lot of tough things in the past few ...hmm..well lets just say it's been all this semester. But I'll give you the abridged version seeing as it's 1AM and I'm tired! :) ...Leaving home is a big deal...believe it or not..I didn't want it to effect me, but it did whether I like or not. On from not coming home to a nice cooked meal to having to learn how to manage my money it has been one interesting ride to the next. Not just any ride either it was a winding roller coaster living in a dormitory of freshmen girls is definitely a trip of a lifetime...not always the best trip, but it has it's perks. It's been a tough semester, not going in ahead of the gang like I've almost always been. Just for anyone wondering, music is not an easy ride after taking 6 years off of lessons...especially if it's in piano. I have definitely looked for what I thought made me happy all this semester, but I've been striving to please someone else or a group of somebody elses..depending on the situation. That's where I went wrong all along. There was a point in the movie where they were talking about what Benjamin Franklin was thinking when he included the pursuit of happiness. And it really made me think about what I have been pursuing to make me happy. Was it my friends? Was it those random fun times? A phone call that I never recieved? Why was this semester not all that I expected?
Four of my checks bounced yesterday, and last night I was so worried and stressing over how I was going to break it to my mom because not only did those checks bounce but there was a charge as well. So I was in the red further than I would have if they would've just waited one more day. I had already put money in the bank but there was a wait on the check because I didn't deposit with cash. But today, it's crazy that God led me to go see this movie about this poor guy that recently had his wife walk out on him and he still managed to take care of their child and land a job while being homeless in a brokers business. I don't know if this is God's way of saying Hey, you may have it tough now, but just wait, it'll get better. Let's just hope that I don't go homeless or anything.
I hope everyone out there reading this has a very merry Christmas, and as you are opening those nice gifts remember that some people either don't have families, or homes, or presents to spread the cheer. That's why Christ is a gift that can't replace anything, he's the best gift we can give the world these days or any day for that matter.

Unfinished songs are never fun...but here's another!

The water all around is pulling me in;
I need a staff to flee into your arms again.
The enemy is too close for comfort.
Only a miracle can save me now.
You are my only hope.

God you are the reason why I am here,
And even though trouble is all I see,
Your beauty surrounds me.
You are my joy.
You keep my peace.
You remain my love.

Part the sea
So I can run through.
Part the sea
So I can run to you.
Is there light at the end of this tunnel,
Or am I wandering aimlessly?

Somewhat Decent Weekend

I had a somewhat decent weekend, despite the drama involved...but we won't get into that right now. Friday we had a wonderful fun girls night! We played Cranium with some of my wonderful ETBU friends, Sadie, Sarah, Megan, Brittany, and Holly. I won of course, but hey we had some good competition :)...Then we watched Parental Control and I stayed in Megan's (my suite-mate...or should I say my sweetmate ;D) room....
Saturday we went to the ETBU football game and had a blast! Here are some beautiful pictures of my friend and I (Megan)....ETBU won...I guess we're their good luck charms b/c this was their first win...so anyways. After that, we ate cafeteria food (boo, no good on wkends!)...and then Ammellia (roommate) and I re-arranged our room which looks fabulous by the way. Then, Megan and I watched one of my top 10 movie choices...How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days. and we kinda dosed off on that one. ....
Sunday, we went to Central Baptist Church and ate pancakes for breakfast. After church we got together with a group of friends and ate Chinese food. Then we came back to ETBU campus and Megan and I took a 2 hour nap I think and worked on homework. Then we went to Wal-Mart and got a couple of things and stopped by Quizno's (one of the greatest inventions in the world ;))...and ate here and finished some more homework....which I'm not doing now...I got a little distracted...I know this blog doesn't change your life or anything, but hey, it kept you entertained for at least a minute or 2!

A Clean Slate?

Well, I have gone through a week of college. It's been different; definately not what I wanted the week to end with, but it happens to me I guess. Monday-Wednesday went by great. Things went by fairly smoothly and I enjoyed my classes. Then Thursday came, unfortunately, . ...First off, my alarm didn't go off. That should have been the first sign that things weren't going to go well. I rushed to get ready and I headed off to go to my class which was English. I started up the stairs of the building and went up to the fourth floor where my class was. I walked into the doors and I thought that everything looked a little weird, like everything was a little misplaced, but I thought Well, I've only been in this building once so it may be just my mind playing tricks on me. So I went down the hallway and I remembered that my class was at the end of the hall. So I went down there and the door was closed, and I was like, okay, she has another class, I'll just wait in the hallway for a while. Then I was thinking, okay, it's 9:20 they should be out by now, so I started to head towards the stairwell and this lady walked out of one of the offices down the hall. And she asked if i needed help. I said, "No, I just have a class here I was just waiting for it to let out." And she responded, "No, you don't have a class in here you must be thinking of Scarborough." (which I was). So I ran to get to my REAL class, which I barely made it. Then she started class with "How did your interview go." I didn't now that we had to have our people interviewed because I hadn't had a chance to look at the syllabus for English. I had called my aunt to interview but she couldn't talk and so she was going to call me back. But she never did. And even if she did, there was no way i could write notes on what she was going to tell me because I wouldn't have gotten anything accomplished the way that my teacher wanted. But that's beside the point. That wasn't the only problem of the day...
I have piano class on Thursday as well. I had been working on this one piece over the summer. I assumed that my teacher would ask me to play something for him. So I chose the piece I was talking about. So I began playing it and it was fine until I got to this one place and I went totally blank. I mean blank to where I wanted to jump out of the window and run as far away from the piano as I possibly could blank. I knew that piece what happened? It still boggles my mind why this happened. ....That's not it. I had to play it again, with all of the piano performance majors in the room (Studio Piano Group). And I practiced an HOUR on that one piece that I had played probably 5 million times before. My mom probably has it memorized more than I do. And I went blank in front of everyone. I felt so humiliated.
This whole starting out on a clean slate thing. I guess it doesn't work for me. I've gotten so used to being discouraged and cast out because of my musical abilities that I've let that take place of my confidence. Studying music is harder than it looks. I can write out scales and key signitures and tell you how many half steps it is from F# to C but that doesn't change the way I play. That doesn't change my confidence. I came here to get that confidence that I really never had. Yes, I can sing and I can play the piano, but I will be the first to admit I have trouble doing both in pubic. In fact, it scares me to even think about it. But I feel like God has called me to do both. I don't know when, where, how or why, but he does. And I'm going to continue to try my best to make my Heavenly Father proud.
Pray for me anyone who reads this!

The Time is Near

Well, it's been a week of getting to know people and going through boring sessions and listening to professors talk about things I already sort of knew. Now I must enter into the real world again. I must be attentative and studious. I must work hard at my choice of practice. Two hours in front of the piano minimum will be expected of me more than likely. Many of these people I saw this week, I will see very little of. Much like church camp, I have not fulfilled what I've come here to do. (Form relationships with different people). I have a tendency of forming a click, and never leaving it. The people I have hung out with are my roommate, suitemates and random short conversations with people I don't remember their names. Why do I do this? Why do I not reach out and get to know others? Am I afraid? Do I avoid people I don't want to form relationships with? And why do I not want to do that? They're just as human as I am. It seems as if this week has brought up a bunch of questions about why I choose to do what I do...and I don't know. I don't know why I form clicks, I don't know why I have trouble showing people how I truly feel. I'm sure some of it is because of my past, but surely it's not all of that. Because as long as I remember I've been this way.

Finally here!

Well, I'm finally here. Planning this for a long time. I don't have that much time to write and plus, i'm tired...so i just wanted to let my wonderful friends know that I'm really excited for the school year to start. I love learning about new things and daily learn, and so, i can't wait to study what I love almost ALL DAY EVERYDAY!!!! lol...anyways. short blog, but i like my roommate and SWEETmates! so it's goin great so far! I hope that everyone in Lufkin is doin great too! I miss every single one of them!!! Well, i'll post an update later on! Take care guys

Lindsay

Craziness

I haven’t blogged in a while, which probably explains why everything’s been so crazy and overbearing lately. I think it helps a lot that I get things out in the open through my blogs. I don’t talk much when it comes to serious things because I’m always afraid that I’ll say something untruthful or something. Like if I’m talking about something that I’m unsure about or not quite knowledgeable about. But I won’t get into that right now. That’s not why I decided to write. I need to get my feelings out about other things.

I really hope that I don’t offend anyone, but a very good friend of mine told me I need to stop worrying about that because that’s normally what keeps me from saying things. I’ve been hurting for a long time. Not personally, but hurting for others; people come to me or even worse, they don’t come to me and someone else tells me about them. For some reason, as soon as I hear that someone has a problem or are struggling with something, I find it as my responsibility to fix it. I’m slowly realizing that this isn’t how things are supposed to be. I’m not saying that you aren’t supposed to be there for them because it says in Galatians 6 that we are supposed to be there for others and carry other’s loads, but I’ve learned that it’s out of my power to handle everyone that comes to me with their problems’ problems (that’s kinda hard to word!!). I truly don’t know what all is going on in the world at all, but someone else does. Someone else is there that knows EVERYTHING that is going on, and how everyone’s relationships are linked to the rest of the world. People’s problems, concerns and struggles are not just my problem to fix, and I shouldn’t be held responsible for fixing all of them because it’s humanly impossible. But Philippians 4:13 says that THROUGH Christ anything is possible. It’s possible that your problems, concerns and struggles can be resolved as long as you continue to look to God.

Satan has gotten a hold of some people that were in my life on a regular basis this year, unfortunately. They meant a lot to me and still do, but it’s been very hard for me lately in dealing with it. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to fix things and make things the way that they used to be, but the truth is, you can’t make things the way that they used to be because we will always look to the past and how everything was in that miserable time too. Just like a pencil eraser, when you try to erase something, you can’t erase it completely, there’s still some mark of your mistake. No matter how hard you try, it will still be there, but that’s the amazing thing believe it or not. God uses your story either way, whether you’ve had a miserable and difficult life with lots of eraser markings or a clean neat life that appears to be perfectly planned out. God doesn’t want you to overlook your faults because that’s what brings others to Christ, what you were and what you are now.

Some Strong Thoughts

I found this quote while reading today...i thought they were rather wonderfully put together, so fit to put on my blog! Enjoy! :D

“She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your
cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine: but how minutely you remember
all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her
injustice seems to have made on your heart! Not ill-usage so brands its record
on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity,
together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short
to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. We are, and must be,
one and all, burdened with faults in this world, but the time will soon come
when, I trust, we shall put them off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and
sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of
the spirit will remain—the impalpable principle of life and thought, pure as
when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence it came it will return;
perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man—perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph! Surely it will never on the contrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to
fiend? No; I cannot believe that. I hold another creed; which no one ever taught
me, and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling:
for it extends hope to all; it makes Eternity a rest—a mighty home, not a terror
and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the
criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the
last: with this creed revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too
deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low; I live in calm, looking
to the end.”

-Excerpt from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Daddy's Weekend

This weekend i went to my dads...Something had gone on in his life that had made him depressed...i don't know exactly what, but something wasn't right...i had never seen him so miserable. I just want to put up a post so that others know that my daddy's in pain on the inside...and it not only hurts him, but it hurts me as well. Maybe it's one of the best things that he's going to go through because i believe that everything happens for a reason. We don't always know the reason, and we may never know, but God knows why and He's there for us. But then again maybe its something that will only bring him down even more. I don't know, but God knows. Pray that my family and I will be strong enough to help him through this tough time. I'm afraid that these tough times will have to help him out of this sinful stage of his life. ...and Daddy, if you're reading this...i'm sorry i don't have the guts to say that to you verbally...hopefully you've picked up on the fact that i don't agree with what you're doing with your life, but if not ...i'm sorry it had to work out this way...i love you no matter what happens or what decisions you make, but that doesn't change my beliefs.

Ode to Vacation

Our summer of 2006
Is something we will always miss.
We laughed a lot in spite of rain,
And our trip to Myrtle was kind of lame.
We enjoyed the ocean breeze,
And all our many shopping sprees.
We packed our bags and went real far
In our little Taurus car.
But now we’re home and happy too,
Because we saw the ocean blue!
By Katie Williams and Lindsay Hollowell