This picture was taken right after Christmas. I had just gotten my digital camera and was playing around w/ it. Ain't it awesome ;)

Beauty

I want to feel beautiful. I refuse to admit that is why I am going to be in the pageant because it's not. I don't want a panel of judges to tell me I'm beautiful, I just want one guy. One guy! One guy that thinks I'm normal, sure I can be kinda weird sometimes, but so can everyone else. So, what detracts them (guys) from me? What makes me not special enough to date? I have so many girls tell me that I'm pretty. I'm so pretty, why don't guys see that, why don't they want to date me? I'm tired of hearing that they are too afraid to ask me out on a date. I don't believe it anymore. I want the truth. Even if I can't handle it. I'm tired of all the depression, anger, lies and confusion.

I really don't know where to start to tell you the truth. I'm just really angry at some things right now. I'm angry at the way some people are. The way Satan has drawn them into so many horrible things. Angry at how not only guys but girls degrade the opposite sex down to a piece of meat. Angry at how they do that and sets a chain reaction for the other to act like a piece of meat and try their best to add their own "seasonings," the ones that will fade and sour over time. Angry at how God tells us we need help and have yet to realize Satan tricks us into believing we don't want help at the moment, so we don't take others' advice. And continue to live a life full of lies. Lies that corupt our brain into sinning. So many little things have set that warning light off in our heads. That beings me to the point of disguist of how horible us humans can be. How easily we are lied to and how desprate we are to even slightly believe it.