Fear

Throughout my life, I've had a problem with dealing with my fears. Fear can be a very controlling thing. Especially when your biggest fear is being controlled by fear. Sunday I talked to a very good friend of mine. And we were talking about guys, which is a normal subject with us. I've liked this guy for a real long time. and She asked me why i haven't let him know. And I couldn't come up with an answer. My denial of my fears made it worse. But, some of the things she said really got to me. And made me really think about alot of things. A book I'm reading about dating helped me to better understand what I was going through because there was a chapter in there about fears keeping you away from being yourself, which leads others away from you. I'm in Florida at the moment, so I haven't been able to talk to my friends barely at all. So i decided I would give another close friend a call. I talked to her and that was my next step to getting rid of my many fears. Last night, i was reading that book again, and I read a list of things that I would have to do to resolve me of my fears. First, you have to list out all of your fears; next, you need to rank your fears. After that you need to talk to a close friend that you know will listen and possibly went through the same thing. Then, you need to ask God to take care of it, and surrender to Him. Because without him you would have 100x more fear in your life. and if you continue with your fear it will gnaw on you like a beaver on wood. Some of us think that there's no turning back and that it's too late, but it's not. Not with God. But, you have to have faith that He will, otherwise it's not genuine. And just like salvation. It has to be 100% truthful. Yes, you will have to face your fear. Yes, you will have trouble, God promises you will. Yes, you will fail through this. But, at least you have hope. You have hope through God. It takes time but your fears will be resolved.

Homesick

It’s only been two days, and I’m already missing home. I’m having a great time. Aunt Kathy and I seem to be getting along as usual. Everyday I learn more about my family and things I know will be useful in the future. Believe it or not, seeing as my parents aren’t together, I really don’t get to observe the reality in marriage. It’s always been my dream to be married (like most people) and have 2 kids, a boy and a girl (I plan to have one/adopt the other…I’ll be sure that I’ll have a boy and a girl) And in my mind when I was younger, I imagined this perfect life with my spouse forever and ever like they show in the movies. I guess it takes a couple of times to realize things because I knew this. But I never grasped the concept. You and your significant other are going to annoy each other. But in the long run it’s okay because in the beginning where all this started, you and him share a common ground. You and him stood in frond of a pastor, a brother in Christ, and you and him made a beautiful promise that keeps you two together; through the think and thin you made a promise to you husband that you would try your best to love him, with God’s help of course, because you cannot do this by yourself. You’re also married to that person for a certain reason. God has a purpose for everything. He and you will learn things about each other and that’s the awesome part about it, most of the time. Another thing that I’ve realized is, it is so amazing at how God works things together. A couple years back, I wouldn’t have even imagined myself right here at Aunt Kathy and Uncle David’s’ house working at a rose farm. And from what Aunt Kathy says she didn’t visualize herself were she is now at the moment either. Sometimes God gives you things as planned, but sometimes he throws you a curveball, such as, where I am right now. And that’s what makes life so interesting.

Single Pics

These were the seperate pics that we took the same day (look @ the previous post) I hated showing the bottom of my feet, but oh well.

My sister and Me!

These are pictures that my sister and I took for Daddy's day! Isn't she so cute!

More Camp Pics

Camp Pics

Here are some pictures of Church Camp this year...i went camera happy this year...so there are like 50 more...i'm gunna try to get them up sometime...just a little later. So here are some of them